A personal easter.

I was running at high speed, searching to know what can I do with two hands.
I was determined, but He has a better plan for me.
I was pressed down,my soul cries,
my heart was aching so was my eyes swollen on a Good Friday night.

I've never rejected going to a church function,
When my dad was saying Matha and Mary,
I cannot help but to let my tears flow right down.

So I cried,
"O my God, take me away, bring me back to you;
I really know not what to do.
Please take me back.
Though I am only 17, but O my God, I am really standing at the cliff of giving up, ready to jump down.

"O my son, hear my voice and know that I'm with you"

"My grace is sufficient for you. And my power is made perfect in Your weaknesses."

"Lord I am weak and frail, I know nothing, I failed everything and now my soul -
a restless soul, I really know not what to do."

- Hormones acting in my body, and my thoughts were filthy.
I did too many things that I wouldn't in too short a period of time.

" O Abah, who knows me O God, who could possibly know me?
talking like a preacher and living like a sinner, am I not a hypocrite?"

"O son, how I could I possibly knew nothing that you felt?"

"O Lord, I'm an unworthy servant, why would You love me so much? Why would You ever take notice of me? I've failed You like I've never before. I've sinned, against my God who loves me."

I've forgotten what is right and wrong, I do not know where is my priority and I've failed to remember the most important thing. It was week of a restless soul. I was tired out every night, sleeping right after dinner till the next morning. Events after events, work after work, I tried to minimise talking to anyone. I've no time for family, no time for the people around me.

"It doesn't really matters now, all is done and all is said, and our God has spoken, ' It is finished' "
So my soul, it cries out and know not what is the right response.
"Because I live, you too shall live. And it is to forgive your all your wrong deeds that I died on that tree."

Knowledge of principles, words of mouth, theories all I might have, but it is futile, I gain nothing,
for in applications, not a fraction of them was I be able to apply in my life.
' Life is not easy, life is not simple, so it seems, so it seems."

I was left with no one else, except You O God, no one understands me,
I don't know if it is my fault that other people don't understand me?
But why, O Lord, have I been striving so hard? Real hard.

But God, only You are with me, even when my friends left me,
even when I need friends, none of them are with me, but You are.
Risen Lord, let me remember till I see You face to face,
that You have conquered Man's greatest enemy.
And You have make it possible for Acceptance.

Cast it all away, cast it all out,
Cry it all away, though my eyes are swollen, only

"Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art,
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

Be Thou my wisdom, and Thou my true word,
I ever with Thee, and Thou with me Lord,
Thou my Great Father and I Thy true son,
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my breast-plate, my sword for the fight,
Be Thou my armour, and be Thou my might,
Thou my soul's shelter, and Thou my high tower,
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor Man's empty praise,
Thou my inheritance, through all my days,
Thou and Thou only, the first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my treasure Thou art,

High King of Heaven, when the battle is done,
Grant Heaven's joy to me, bright Heaven's sun,
Christ of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be Thou my vision, O Ruler of all."

[I really don't know how, I was sinnging this song, whenever I was alone and so down in the week, and on Good Friday's night, my dad actually sent me an e-mail, with exactly the same hymm]

Only let me be quick in Love, or rather, in Love. amen.

My First Love

My first love.
I do not know what u will feel after reading this, I just want to pour out some things here. Do not think that I’m a spiritual man or a holy person, do not separate my life into piece by piece, and don’t be so cruel, separating my life into secularism and non-secular. I am just having Life.

I am only 17 years old, but lots of things have happened on me, and many of the things I’ve experienced. I was as good as dead when I was 16. Sexually obsessed, masturbation, porn, proud and arrogant, indignant, though I was pretty much involved in great activities, missionary trip, but behind my physical, there’s nothing but a dry soul.
I like animals and nature since young, and decided to become a vet one day. But d’Na – if there you feed a man a fish, you feed him for a meal, but if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for life; if I’m given but some lectures, I was just being moved, but d’Na forge new generations of young thinkers, and I, am one the benefited one. Forever changed, not by D’na, but God. And through d’na, a heart to think Life, love Life is created in me.

Given all those knowledge, I was but loafer. One evening, I was struck down by His love and forgiveness, Matt 5 is one of the first few passages that God spoke through to me. Knowing all that He has done as an historical incident, an incident that break the limits of man reaching God, and now God reaching man. I was reading one day the Gospel, knowing that Christ shamefully stripped and whipped and crucified, my heart and mind was put to the very scene that evening, and knowing He died that wicked and sinner Raymond because of love. I finally realized what forgiveness is after all.

I was lost in the world, He found me, and I found life, I’ll not live my life the same again. I found myself in none other but Christ Himself.

pierced.

This is what seems to break apart: a heart of a young man.

“Why the rest received those information? Why didn’t you? Is it because you are bad. May be she looked down on you. May be she thinks you don’t need it. And why didn’t you study hard enough last few days? Huh? Why did you now come and ask for help? Didn’t you know your time? Your planning?”

“And why did that person didn’t reply you?”
Studying hard maybe?
“Really? Studying hard? Then why that person text others?”
Um, I… dunno.
“Maybe … likes that person, not you.”
So wat?
“So wat? You know yourself.”
No, it’s not true…we waved good-byes just now, both smiled…
“then, does that mean anything?”
…
“Why did your friends don’t talk to u these days?”
exams…
“really?”
…
“can you grow up? And stop pouring more on your sister when your dad try teaching her.”
I…
“is that love for your sister? You prayed for peace for family, yet now you are stirring for troubles”
…

Demonized...

My heart pierced. Deeply. Deeply hurt. Is it because of me of all these? Is it me, my fault? Too hurt to cry.

I messaged my dear brother who messaged me to encourage me for tomorrow’s Bio paper. Telling him my feelings as brief as possible. And before that I wanted to encourage a dear sister of mine, but…
“Don’t you feel odd? Hypocrites… You yourself got problem, now want to encourage others? What you think you are? Busybody.”
No, those aren’t really my problems.
“They aren’t?!!”

STOP, I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I messaged both of them, telling both my thoughts, rather than thankyous, encouragements, or whatever… all kinds of voices I heard, but I am not hearing of it, I sent out all I could describe with that 12 keys on my phone…

Then encouragements came in, slowly, yet my heart is still bleeding. I couldn’t say much, those messages, with love. But I just, I couldn’t give proper response. I’m too tired to flip another page of Bio, too tired.

I asked my sis’ help, she refused. What can I say? Knees down, head bowed. Only the Lord is with me. On bed, soon after, I woke up and find myself alone in the quietness, 1 o’clock in the morning. I wanted to wake up at 12, but well, 1 o’clock is still good. Thank God. Though sleeping did not help much, the Lord does give me some rest by it. I woke up, found two messages: one with much encouragement, and the other was asking whether I want to talk on the phone and she’ll keep praying for me. I was much better by then, so I said that prayer is what I need now.

Few pages of Bio, on bed again, my dear bro asked me what time I will wake up. ‘4:30, why?’ ‘I’ll call u to pray’ ‘thanks.’ This is the love of a brother.

Woke up at 4:45, miscall one, when I just received the message delivery report, he called, we prayed. Was way better by then. Though little that he understands my problem, he did all he could, the best he could, prayed for me, intercede for me to the Creator of Heaven and Earth.

Bio, although I didn’t manage to cover all, didn’t really study much, but I believed, His peace carried me through. I didn’t dread, neither do I become distress. His peace was with me.

Now to reflect by it, if it wasn’t the love of the brother, I would have still battling. But wait… much more than that. If it wasn’t His love and His personal care and watching over His children, my friend wouldn’t prayed with me at 4:30.

Now I remembered, there was once, when I text an auntie, not knowing she was in Australia, about my problems, without much waiting, she called me, WHILE SHE WAS IN ANOTHER COUNTRY!! I don’t care if you say IDD cheap or what, what I know is, this is the love of a church inspired by LOVE. Now to reflect back those days, when I used to talk with siblings till midnight, prayed through the ticking sound of 12 o’clock. How many times, at the moment I need people the most, He sent His children with His care, to comfort a soul like mine.

It took me few months after d’na to learn the importance of church. CHURCH ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN I COULD LEARN IN FEW MONTHS. Although the officer gave us a night lecture, I got the wrong message. But my roommate spoke up in reunion, about that night lecture, I finally realized.

If not the church, my family would have still been a broken one. Without Him, there would be no church. If not His love, there would not.

Just a detachment from my journal:

“Son, know this,
it could never hurt you more than it hurts ME,
Did I not myself let these test come upon you,
Seeing you cried because of this and not understand,
Is my heart not broken?
When you shed your tears, I shed MY blood, just to give you the best, with joy and hope.
Did you not remember? I once told you that I will always be with you, My Spirit will always be with you.
Did I not uphold you with My Righteous Right Hand?
Have Peace, My Peace,
My Peace I give to you, not as the world gives.”

And the other day,

“What have I done, Lord?
“It’s not what you’ve done,
but who you are, to ME, son.”
This speaks all, of Him and His love.

Exodus 19:4-6, “…You yourselves have seen what I did to Egypt, and how I carried you on eagles’ wings… …” see how our God speaks, a personal way of speaking, is there anyone one like Him who would speak to the creations? Throughout the whole Bible!! For more 4000 years, personally and comforting, direct speech of the Creator to His creations, and finally, with a human vocal chords, spoke words like “and surely I am with you always, to the very end of age.” (Matthew 28:20b) and many other more like “My peace I give to you, not as the world give” “Come to ME, all you who are weary and heavy-laden.” And many can testify now, how He has constantly been faithful to us, isn’t it?

He understands and He knows. To God be the glory, amen.

[Declaration: These are written by a young man, reliable or not, to be confirmed. I just want to use this to thank my brothers and sisters, my family and my friends, my prayer partner, and most importantly, of where all my blessings come from, my Father above, that's all this message is about. :) If you felt uncomfoortable with it, let me know asap, so that I could change, I do not want to cause any discomfort due this.thank you for your co-operation, (I know it's a bit lame, but I meant it!)]

[I think I should go read my Physics now.>.<]

one of the weeks of blessing.

Interviews, applications, waiting, decisions, and hopes.

We make decisions everyday of our life. What to wear, what to eat, which mascara to be put on, which restaurant to go to, which tuition to go for or drop, the subject to take or drop and the next place where we’ll be going to, as well as how we're going to live for next 60 yrs, 40 yrs or 10 0r 20 yrs. Purpose-driven? Prayer-driven? And this is especially real for me and my family as my sister is going to finish her primary education this November and I’ll be soon going to take my SPM and choose another step towards my calling in the near future. And decisions are real important, and I think this statement, though it’s not totally true, but do have few percentage of truth in it.

“Where we are now, actually is the results of the many decisions we’ve made in the past, despite our destiny.”

Purpose.

Sometimes we do not have any idea about why we are making this decision or that. Sometimes we do not look far; sometimes we do not think about at all our purpose of life when we make big decisions like: what course I should take after this.

I’ve been applying for further education since early of this year. Few weeks ago I went for two interview, two different scholarship interview sessions. Praise God for the chances. And well, cut it short, we are supposed to be notified this week. And this week, was really a week of life. It was more than dramatic though, read it, and you’ll know why I’ve said this.

27th SEPT – 2nd OCT 09-

On Sunday, I was kind of troubled after a show, wondering, how many times I have to fight the Young Man’s battle of lust. And I have a talk with my d’NA roommate, he was such a blessing – mature, stable, wise. Thank God for that. He spoke to me about God’s deliverance of him and the salvation that he had learnt of Jesus. And I realize, I’ve actually not realize that, I’ve been fighting on my own many times, and each time I did so, I failed. And he told me these, “Salvation is the supernatural work of God to transform you from a creature who loves sin to a one who hates sin and loves God and the things of God.” “It’s not our work, but God’s transformation. It’s no point of saying the sinner’s prayer and inviting the Lord into our lives and after that go on our own without letting Him to transform our lives,” he added.

Monday, I went with such gladness in my heart, praying and asking God to transform me. Amazingly, miraculously, whatever you prefer, my results were shockingly better than I thought of. Hallelujah, hee~ you know, SPM trial wasn’t as easy as a piece of cake kay. Believe it or not, it was God, not me; it was prayers, not tips. :)

Tuesday I do not know why, seriously, I was so troubled all day long, even after sleep, even when I’m reading the Bible, I’ve no heart for it. I was really emotionally unstable, don’t ask me why, I don’t know. I requested for prayers.

“-Let it go. No point choosing the second best. God’s will is still the best, since He knows everything, yes, everything; He knows what you’ll need in your life, and how you can enjoy life at its best.”

And three days ago, two of my friends who went for the scholarship interview I too went, received the phone call, notifying that they have been selected for it. Well, one of them told me about it the next morning. And I was so troubled at first. But at second thought, I was reminded of an encounter with a voice:
-
It was after the interviews when this happens. I’ve once thought of studying theology, psychology and medicine. I know, it sounds… But, after some time, I realize it was impossible to study 3 things at one time, 3 totally distinct things, though you may say, not really, since theology is related to psychology, and psychology is related to medicine, but still, if I really do these, I think I might become a customer before I become a psychologist, just joking. And so I said to myself, remembering that a d’NA officer once said to me, if you finish study the whole Bible and the study notes, and understood it, you’re actually qualified as a theologian. So, “Raymond,” I say, “Go finish studying your whole Bible before anything else.”

But after that, people asked me about what I am going to study next time, each time I remembered theology. And many people, those I’ve told that I might study theology and those I’ve not, came asking me what about theology, my relatives, my teacher, my friends, etc. Even STM people came to our church and talked about theology. Although I sometimes wonder, but I’ve never mentioned about theology as one of the option ever since. And for application, career aspiration, I dropped it out. And after the interviews, when people asked me, I once thought about it again, and so I said to the Lord, if it is your will and your calling, show me it is. “What kind of sign?” “Is it okay if I closed the way that leads to others? You don’t get scholarships, or you failed in any application other than for theology, is it okay with you?” that was the voice. I thought, for a moment, consider it, and I said, “Ok, let this be.”
-
So, after recalling it, I was overwhelmed, I felt I’m not ready, no, I’m not prepared to let go of my friends who will never understand and will soon be lost if I study theology. I’m not ready to give up other dreams, plans, and interests. Which way will I be going? Settling down for a moment, I begin to realize, how hard it is to let go. Although I realize all those that I’ve mentioned were vanities: dreams, plans, people who will never understand you, for these I can’t keep. Not even my life on earth. So, finally, I got up, okay, if it’s Your calling, prepare me to go for it.

“He is no fool, who gives what he cannot keep, and gains what he cannot lose.”
-Jim Elliot, martyr for Christ’s love.

Let it go, let it go, Jesus ask me let it go.

But, more amazingly, while I was troubled so much and emotionally unstable for the day before, after that what happened on Wednesday, I was well and sound. All fine. Way better!! Praise God.

And while I continued to find God’s calling for me, I got some application form from the counselor of my school, which are for scholarships to go Australia. But this time, I was different, I was reluctant to apply them, unlike before, I would try all my best to seek as many opportunities as possible. I was in fact, in confusion. But I did not decide on the spot.

But today, Friday, I reached home earlier than usual, I was bored, so I watched a show, though I got a feeling a I shouldn’t watch, I’ve got better things to do. But anyway, I sinned, another long story. But after that I went, prayed, read the Bible. Then, after a while, I took a nap, and guess what woke me up, kay, it’s ‘who’ wakes… my maid woke me up, but why? “I’m calling from HELP University College; I called you to tell you that you have been selected for… …”

That was the story, kinda long-winded, but I think I didn’t leave out anything…hee~
-
Theology, may be now it’s not the timing. May be in the future, He will call me to. :)

Continue praying~

Masterpiece.

Like a fool, had everything, but with an empty soul. Hungering, desiring a heart satisfied.
I had been wondering what I had done: wondering, have I ever done what is right before You our GOD, hoping that I have been more a blessing than hurts. Wondering have I failed You and vain Your grace upon me. Hoping, to have a life to its fullest.

As I walked day by day, pride accumulate, things get into Your way. Decisions, mine, no longer Yours. The Christmas gift almost 2 years ago, the commitment I had always been making, I seems to have forgotten. Am I of anything? But dusts on the ground, without You, am I of anything? If not Your love that searched me, I am but a worm, dead by now.

Friends of my life, you could not have believe what Raymond was, if not the touch on my heart. I might be a man without vision, a loafer without purpose, unmarked criminals hurting others, an ungrateful hypocrite, and a dying soul, destroying his and others’ lives. Perverse, not-to-be forgiven, meaningless, useless. My life was made in Him, my weakness perfected in His strength, I found my hope in Christ, my purpose to live on. My strength to walk on. Remembering how He persevered to walk the Calvary's road just to love me, love you. That the last darkness in life would be gone.

-

And I now, though I have been walking in Your salvation, singing Your freedom songs, I always took over the driver’s seat, trying to drive my own life. Have I not remember, the days of Your hands, that led me through my darkest moments into a bright new Day in my life?

“Raymond = God’s masterpiece.”
You bet! Me? Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

13TH SEPT 2009 – I have been really tired after two weeks of trials. And when I closed my books, and sometimes, wander off into my own thoughts. I felt really tired, wondering, have I done what is right so far? Have I been honoring Who I should have honored? I felt my soul getting drier; I no longer have that “oomph” to walk on. Heads down, knees on the ground, no tears to cry. Seeking for moisture for my soul in this walk of Sahara. So, I prayed, “God, bring me back to You.”

As I walked on into the service, I felt dry, nothing in my heart, or, everything is in my head, I was telling my friend about it, and while I was almost going to send a really desperate message to my someone, it sounded like this: “too much a feeling to bear, too many thoughts of mine, too hard to continue, too difficult to decide; I’m left with nothing, no hope, no strength, no place to stand, all except Christ, nothing but His perseverance to love us.” . I almost send it, when the Holy Spirit spoke to me, “wait.” And so I wait. You couldn’t believe what exactly had happened next.

Dr Alex spoke on “essential ingredients for spiritual growth”, and he showed us, some trees actually lived, thousands of years. Some was even there through the years when our Lord walked on Earth. He spoke to us, that we actually, being renewed in Christ, lack nothing to grow, but sometimes, we just forgotten who we are. We sometimes are like Eagles living among chicks, have the ability to soar, but thought we couldn’t. And last of all in a video, I cried.

I have been wondering: what am I actually? I have no talents like Hannah Montana or any other. I have been looking at others playing musical instruments, while I am a music-idiot, perhaps because of the indifference towards music after a slap on the face by my standard 1 music teacher. “Excuses” sometimes I would tell myself. I planned what I wanted to do. I hoped give something to my friend in a Bible study, yet I felt I leave him question mark. I wanted, I planned, I desired, I longed. Going with ME headfirst, I have been waking up, feeling like a failure, “Raymond, you have failed again. Again and again.” I do not know really where I am heading with my life.

And in the 10 minutes video, God spoke to me, “Hey, you are my masterpiece, who do you think you are? I don’t make junk.” And I couldn’t hold my tears. I don’t know why, but just that He is, always there when I need someone to cry with. “Not those talents dear son, not those things that you wanted, but you and Me, in this walk.” And one essential ingredient is, our response. What have been? Come on Raymond, it is not about you, not about your work; but about God’s story of you, about God’s work!

Could you imagine, an Emperor, a Father, owning everything, but also gives you everything. A King, yet would leave His throne, to call you His brother. To die for You.

All the walls in my heart was broken, strongholds torn down. And I’m freed, once again, to sing salvation songs.

And I wrote these down, don’t really know how it sounds, but well, more like a prayer, my prayer is that,

“our God’s name be honored,
His people be filled with love.
And I pray I would love God, not just by loving me myself, but would love God by loving others, by loving God. And with whatever strength that I’m left, I’ll commit my soul back to You now. Amen.”

And my song that I jotted down last Sunday, (:

My heart trembles away,
My soul wanders away,
at the sight of Your love,
I’m back in one piece.

Is that what we’re destined to be?
Are we always a fail,
have we ever forget,
Your joy and your peace?

Have we ever wonder,
when we look at ourselves,
are we nothing but shells,
a man without soul, and
a life without love.

Have the pride taken control,
Have our freedom songs cease?

Have the song of grateful hearts,
leave without a sign?

Teach us come back to You,
Chisel out the sin in our life.
Take it all it takes,
we give You all we are.

Make us Your masterpiece, as it is Your plan!
Make us Your masterpiece, once again!!

Refine our souls.
Make it for the Day,
the Day when trials come,
and swords will shed blood,
eyes will shed tears.

Let us never be afraid,
of the man that sheds blood,
but cannot do to our souls,
any of it.

But let us rejoice,
as we make our lives Yours,
let Your church be filled with love,
as the song we praise, make it dear to You.

Abba Father, our Potter,
take our lives from the miry clay,
make us anew into Your great plan,
make us the salt and the light,
In the world of darkened souls.

Let us discern Your call,
Let us never forget,
Who brought us to the Solid Rock,
in this crushing away,
of the current of the world.

I'll always love You. :)

Just another word.

I woke up again, then fell, then really woke up from my sin.
------------------------------------------------------------

"His divinity is equal to the Father, His humanity is submissive to the Father"

-by a d'na officer.

I couldn't really understand why man are sometimes so fickle, somehow unfaithful. I understand the part where lust is a young man's battle, but I don't understand why, given the red lights, warnings, reminders, memories of the past, I still somehow lose it.

Its answer remains an unknown to me till I was impressed by the Holy Spirit where the above quote flash through my mind and stay in it. My heart of wonder, satisfied.

It's not about my strength or my ability. Not that those who failed are weaker. I realised soon after, it's because my will of taking control, instead of letting Him to. I took over the authority, manage it, trying to handle it with my own hands. He never hold back from us, our freedom of freewill each human has. But He also given us the knowledge of what's right and what's wrong, I supposed it's called conscience. It became more and more blunt as we dismiss it time after time. But the gift of the Holy Spirit sharpens it, as we come with a humble heart, as we repent.

I know full well, if I were called to marriage, God certainly provide. I don't have to do what I did, imagine, seek, anxious, worry, fantasised and what's worst that you could think of. Only if, I were submissive. Surely the Creator of universe and the One who promises perfect love have a perfect plan for us. Then it sums up to this question: who can take care of my life better, more fruitful? God or me?

Christ was a perfect example, as human, He faced much temptation as well, but tempted in everyway, still sinlessly paid the sin of the people He created and loved. Why? I believed it's the word - submissive.

This morning, as many other, I have heard many times of the phrase "budaya Barat", it was used so many times in such context that I don't know how many people have the impression that: western culture = bad. Well, I beg to differ. Where does the practice of Father's and Mother's Day started from, where does Children's Day started from? Abraham Lincoln was from the West. Mother Teresa as well. I do not think the problem lies with geography, nor because of the difference in culture, but he similarities of man's desire for evil - self-centredness.

We know full well we need authority over us, but we go against it. Laws, companies, school, even parents. But we want our ways.

As to question of whether the westerners are righfully accused, I supposed you've the answer. By both history and present times.

kay, sidetrack. keep it up. God bless, take care.

better go study my physics now, love yea. (:

Before trial.

the feeling of stepping into the field battling again, the battle of honesty and of one's integrity, discipline for commitment, besides the stacks of book and inks. [gulp] most likely this will be my last blog before SPM trial. wow. [you must be wondering why am I so free =.=]

nah, I couldn't believe and stand in amazement of the story of life tht my God have brought me to this far. From the fear of loneliness, dirty sins, to hear Him speaking forgiveness personally, to each challenges that He constantly brought me through in victory in these few years..

I'm not a good student or what. God has been real good to me. And to me, if anyone of you can remember about last year co-curricular day, with my terrible voice and commands, getting a runners-up was more than just a miracle to me. And I cannot remember by now, how many times that I faced great challenge before each evnt that I was involved in, just take the BK Quiz two weeks ago as an example, yea, partnering with my friend from another school whom I've never met, sick throughout the whole trip, and to those who knows, God has been my strength when I'm weak!

and last week, it has been a struggle for me, with pride, with myself. While I was still wondering what is Dr. Chuah's message of God of our struggle, I suddenly was stunned of it: Isn't it what I've been facing all these while? I like the picture he's given: see how the butterfly struggle through the cocoon and fly. If the cocoon is cut open to ease the butterfly's struggle, it 'll never fly, it'll be so swollen that it will just crawl for the rest of its life. And the story of Jacob., God graciously touched him and made him realise who he is.

I was impressed again by the story of the lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son. Am I not the lost sheep that wander at the edge of the cliff? Am I not the lost coin or the lost son, that was dead but no alive? Indeed, God is the one who's waiting, who is faithful enough to put down His robe and to give us the ring of promise, to search high and low for the unfaithful me, and to bring me back again to the circle of grace.

And to think about my family. How many wars was resolved in prayer? How many times, God has turned things out in peace?

And the exam period, when I chose to trust Him and no one else, and nothing else, how much He blessed me with? Indeed, to God be all glory!!

Just to reminisce Uncle Ch'ng (our youth advisor) 's story of peer pressure, it was a great story that I think it's worth sharing: there was this girl [I couldn't remember the name], who refuse to lower her principles. So she faced much mocking, much teasing and became a subject of humiliation by other girls in a party. With all integrity, she stood and said:

"At any moment from now, I can go to the back of any car and be like what you
are; but at anytime from now to the end of your life, you can never be what I
am."

This word have been much of my encouragement to face pressure of all kinds. And you too will take a moment of thought for this.

In Christ alone, my hope is found, here in the blood of Christ I stand. ~