My First Love

My first love.
I do not know what u will feel after reading this, I just want to pour out some things here. Do not think that I’m a spiritual man or a holy person, do not separate my life into piece by piece, and don’t be so cruel, separating my life into secularism and non-secular. I am just having Life.

I am only 17 years old, but lots of things have happened on me, and many of the things I’ve experienced. I was as good as dead when I was 16. Sexually obsessed, masturbation, porn, proud and arrogant, indignant, though I was pretty much involved in great activities, missionary trip, but behind my physical, there’s nothing but a dry soul.
I like animals and nature since young, and decided to become a vet one day. But d’Na – if there you feed a man a fish, you feed him for a meal, but if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for life; if I’m given but some lectures, I was just being moved, but d’Na forge new generations of young thinkers, and I, am one the benefited one. Forever changed, not by D’na, but God. And through d’na, a heart to think Life, love Life is created in me.

Given all those knowledge, I was but loafer. One evening, I was struck down by His love and forgiveness, Matt 5 is one of the first few passages that God spoke through to me. Knowing all that He has done as an historical incident, an incident that break the limits of man reaching God, and now God reaching man. I was reading one day the Gospel, knowing that Christ shamefully stripped and whipped and crucified, my heart and mind was put to the very scene that evening, and knowing He died that wicked and sinner Raymond because of love. I finally realized what forgiveness is after all.

I was lost in the world, He found me, and I found life, I’ll not live my life the same again. I found myself in none other but Christ Himself.