Before trial.

the feeling of stepping into the field battling again, the battle of honesty and of one's integrity, discipline for commitment, besides the stacks of book and inks. [gulp] most likely this will be my last blog before SPM trial. wow. [you must be wondering why am I so free =.=]

nah, I couldn't believe and stand in amazement of the story of life tht my God have brought me to this far. From the fear of loneliness, dirty sins, to hear Him speaking forgiveness personally, to each challenges that He constantly brought me through in victory in these few years..

I'm not a good student or what. God has been real good to me. And to me, if anyone of you can remember about last year co-curricular day, with my terrible voice and commands, getting a runners-up was more than just a miracle to me. And I cannot remember by now, how many times that I faced great challenge before each evnt that I was involved in, just take the BK Quiz two weeks ago as an example, yea, partnering with my friend from another school whom I've never met, sick throughout the whole trip, and to those who knows, God has been my strength when I'm weak!

and last week, it has been a struggle for me, with pride, with myself. While I was still wondering what is Dr. Chuah's message of God of our struggle, I suddenly was stunned of it: Isn't it what I've been facing all these while? I like the picture he's given: see how the butterfly struggle through the cocoon and fly. If the cocoon is cut open to ease the butterfly's struggle, it 'll never fly, it'll be so swollen that it will just crawl for the rest of its life. And the story of Jacob., God graciously touched him and made him realise who he is.

I was impressed again by the story of the lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son. Am I not the lost sheep that wander at the edge of the cliff? Am I not the lost coin or the lost son, that was dead but no alive? Indeed, God is the one who's waiting, who is faithful enough to put down His robe and to give us the ring of promise, to search high and low for the unfaithful me, and to bring me back again to the circle of grace.

And to think about my family. How many wars was resolved in prayer? How many times, God has turned things out in peace?

And the exam period, when I chose to trust Him and no one else, and nothing else, how much He blessed me with? Indeed, to God be all glory!!

Just to reminisce Uncle Ch'ng (our youth advisor) 's story of peer pressure, it was a great story that I think it's worth sharing: there was this girl [I couldn't remember the name], who refuse to lower her principles. So she faced much mocking, much teasing and became a subject of humiliation by other girls in a party. With all integrity, she stood and said:

"At any moment from now, I can go to the back of any car and be like what you
are; but at anytime from now to the end of your life, you can never be what I
am."

This word have been much of my encouragement to face pressure of all kinds. And you too will take a moment of thought for this.

In Christ alone, my hope is found, here in the blood of Christ I stand. ~